
i like leaving the dinner table as is
til next morning i wake up again
glasses with wine stains
empty bottles and food crumbs
on white surface
as if laughter and small talk still hanging in the air
keep me warm on a chilly fall morning
i like hosting
even sometimes i don't eat
i will bake
watch them eat and talk
debating on funny things and i just sit on my bed
things smudge in my brain at some moment
then i can hear only silence
and feel chunks of colors moving under my eyelids
i think i like making people happy
and see them at home when they are with me
it makes me happy too
it also makes me feel like a woman
while when around men
i don't say i like baking
i ask about their latest investments and why there's no woman in their money-sucking industry
things are getting better now
i tell myself.
i am able to enjoy life without feeling guilty
and i stretch my overworked spine that once cried a lot.
we all deserve happiness
and doing nothing
i hope your sunday is useless and beautiful .